Originally I planned on writing the mandatory end-year post towards the tail end of December, then life happened. First, our landlord informed us she would be selling our apartment, so the house-hunting exercise began. Second, I watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens and it was all I could think about for two weeks afterwards. Third, I entered my Star Wars-inspired story, Destination Unknown, in an Inkitt competition (and I’m currently at #1). Finally, I decided to be insane and write a couple of short stories and polish off some older ones for December submissions. A busy holiday season indeed, but a fantastic one nonetheless. I hope yours was just as magical.
So, after hours of internal monologue and reflection, I’ve compiled my best-of-2015 lists for albums, movies, games, comics and books. Some of the selections might be pre-2015, but I don’t care because the lists are mine.
- Bring Me the Horizon – That’s the Spirit
- Breaking Benjamin – Dark Before Dawn
- Young Guns – Ones and Zeroes
- Coal Chamber – Rivals
- Bullet For My Valentine – Venom
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- Ex Machina
- Mad Max: Fury Road
- Jurassic World
- PES 2016
- Arkham Knight
- Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
- Alien: Isolation
- Mortal Kombat X
- Richard Kadrey – Kill the Dead
- Neil Gaiman – Trigger Warning
- Michael McCarty – Modern Mythmakers
- A. Lee Martinez – Divine Misfortune
- Dave de Burgh – Betrayal’s Shadow
- Joe Frankenstein
- Dead Vengeance
- Red Hood/Arsenal
- Batman & Robin Eternal
- Edward Scissorhands
FREE SHORT STORY!
As a New Year’s gift for being such awesome people and reading my scribblings, I’ve written a short story for your leisure. The premise originated in my creative writing class, where the instruction was: write a short story with the opening line ‘You have two minutes to live’ in 10 minutes.
Conversations with Him
“You have two minutes to live.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the short notice, God.”
“Short notice? You have had over 30 years to do what you want!” He boomed.
“Do what I want?” I laughed so hard that I snotted all over my lip.
“What’s so funny?”
“I haven’t had 30 years to do what I want, because You put obstacles in my way.”
He furrowed His bushy, grey brow. “A life without obstacles isn’t a life worth living.”
“Let me rephrase that: I don’t mind the natural obstacles, like the occasional flu or bad night’s sleep, but the problem is all the obstacles are people, i.e. Your subjects.” Before He could interrupt, which I noticed He wanted to, I continued, “Have you seen the omelette lady at the canteen? She’s singlehandedly sabotaging the omelette counter by refusing to make more than one omelette every 30 minutes. It’s a travesty.”
“That’s a good point. I have noticed how she isn’t in much of a hurry,” God agreed.
“And don’t get me started on rush-hour traffic in the morning and the afternoon. It hardly moves because a handful of idiots need to push in right at the front. Honestly, there are days when I sit there in my little black car and pray that a flood will come and destroy us all. One big swoosh and it’s over.”
God didn’t seem amused by my last statement. “Are you really going to spend the last minutes of your life complaining about other people?”
“Absolutely! You shouldn’t allow people to tell others they can achieve anything they want because it’s a rotten lie. You need to add the caveat: as long as what you want to achieve doesn’t involve other people.”
God waved His hands in the air agitatedly. “Okay, okay…For the love of Me, I have heard enough of this. I rescind my curse. You will no longer die.”
“Nah, it’s all right. I’ve played enough PlayStation this month and Real Madrid probably won’t win the league, so it’s cool. I’m ready to go. Smite away.”
“Are you for real? I just said you can live.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” I scratched my head. “I splurged quite a bit over Christmas and the credit card is getting heavier in my pocket. Also, I don’t really like my neighbour; he makes a lot of noise in the evening. He’s beginning to bother me and I’m already rubbing snot on his door handle, so it’s bound to end badly.”
He stroked His beard. “Life’s the most precious of gifts. How can you think so little of it?”
“With all the chaos, wars, racism and general stupidity, would You want to live amongst us right now?” I asked.
He sighed. “You humans are such strange creatures. I should have just created more dogs instead. They’re so much better. And grateful.”
I shrugged. He was right.